Bluecollarbear (bluecollarbear) wrote,
Bluecollarbear
bluecollarbear

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2007.09.04.11.20.open relationships

OK, so I'm posting this RANT here, and took it down off the bear profile page...Was getting some feedback from both partnered and single bears, but thinking it was turning more people off than getting their attention...So let me just say that I don't have anything against open relationships...I'm just trying to figure them out...I find myself sometimes being FRUSTRATED by guys in open relationships...What are you supposed to do when you meet someone who you spend time getting to know, and find that you are compatible mentally and physically, but can only take that to a certain point because there's a spouse to contend with...In the past I have found myself wanting more than He was willing to give...So then I have to cut that off to avoid the stress and drama(just a thought...am I more attracted to guys that ARE in relationships??? something to think about)...Yes, I have met a few single Bears that I wanted to pursue a relationship with, but they were either living too far away to have anything serious or they were not interested in me except for sex...So where does that leave me???Here in Rochester, there are many guys in open relationships out looking to hook up. So do I take the HIGH ROAD and wait for "Mr. Right" to come along before I have sex??? I've been celibate for long stretches in the past...I've got being alone DOWN...It's just not what I want for myself anymore...I am a social person and love the feeling of being part of a group, but to know that you are special to one particular person...being able to communicate with a look, a touch, even a smell, nothing quite compares to that...And I don't do well mentally going so long without sex...It's a huge factor of my depression...So I need to HAVE SEX...we all need to have sex...it's good for the soul...So where does that leave me?...with the idea that a monogamous relationship, however impractical or unreasonable, or even unnatural is something that I want for myself...but realizing that every relationship is unique and compromise IS a part of relationships...so I ask the question(s)...How do "OPEN" relationships survive? What is the commitment or bond that you and your spouse share that can't be broken by letting someone else into your bed? Was the relationship always open or did it evolve to that point? What ARE the boundaries? How do you know when the line has been crossed? Can your partner TRUMP your decision to play or not??...Maybe I'm just over thinking it all?
Tags: bears, commitment, dating, gay, gay marrige, monogamy, open relationships, sex
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